its not like i don't want to write. i do. i just don't have time to get into the mood. im not good with time management. i should be.

20 years and 1 week. thats how old i am. i don't feel different. maybe coz i dont care about my age much. i grow, i learn. thats all. i like 20, 20 is good so far.

i promised myself i wouldn't repeat the same mistakes ive made in my past. my mistakes are very small compared to some of the stuff other people have done. nevertheless, they are my mistakes, and a huge deal to me. but im going back to the same things ive done before. i dont want to. but it feels.. good. to want something i couldnt have before. the idea of having it, its.. fascinating.

im just like another human being. i want things i cannot have. i like to dream about what i would do if i get it. when i get it.
its so close, yet so far.

and sometimes i wonder what i would want after i get this thing i want.